Tag: 100 Words

100 Word Story – Large Foods (Part One)

“I can’t decide on what I want to eat. There’s just so many different options to choose from.”

Sarah kept looking at the menu while I was already talking to our waiter about what I wanted. “You can go ahead and put my order in. My wife will need a few more minutes.”

The waiter nodded and headed for the back of the restaurant. I looked at Sarah, her face being hidden behind the menu.

“There’s just too much,” she laughed. “It’s like it gets bigger every time we come back here.”

“Too bad your ass has the same problem.”

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100 Word Story – Annual Check-up (Finale)

I stepped out of the clinic, using my hand to block the sun from getting in my eyes. The crisp air filled my lungs as I walked towards the train station, wanting to go home.

I blended into the early afternoon rush crowd, swiping my card to get through the turnstile. I saw my train approaching the platform and I weaved through everybody to grab a seat for my long ride home.

As I rocked with the motion of the train, I got an email on my phone: “Don’t forget to schedule your appointment for next year.”

“… Adulting sucks.”

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100 Word Story – Annual Check-up (Part Four)

I kept looking at the bandage on my upper arm, a growing warmth and itchiness taking over on the injection site. I tried my best to scratch through the soft padding of the bandage, “Damn, this sucks. Now I’m gonna be sore for the next two days.”

With the doctor gone, I picked up my bag and headed through the waiting area. As I walked down the hallway, I caught a glance of the blonde young woman again as she passed by; she was shaking, holding a paper in her hands.

Must have tested positive. Feel kinda bad for her.

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100 Word Story – Annual Check-up (Part Three)

“Everything’s normal—weight, heart rate, height, blood pressure—it’s all good.”

I gave the doctor a slight nod and smiled, “That’s good to hear.”

The doctor smiled back, looking up from her computer monitor, “Any issues you’ve been having? Any pain, symptoms of illness, soreness?”

“No, nothing.”

“That’s good.” The doctor looked at her monitor again, reading off my medical records. “Looks like you’re due for a flu shot. Want to get one now?”

My heart beat instantly soared at hearing about that, the horrors of needles burned in my memories. However, my mouth spoke lies, “Sure, let’s do it.”

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100 Word Story – Annual Check-up (Part Two)

The blonde young woman next to me tried to start a conversation even though I was clearly not interested in talking, “Hey, hey. Four-Eyes!”

Annoyed, I decided to play along in the hope that she would subside. I closed my book and looked at her, replying, “What?”

“What cha here for?”

“Just a yearly physical, making sure I’m in good shape.”

Her eyes widened and shimmered with surprise, “Lucky! I’m here to get tested.”

The sound of her being tested grabbed my attention, “Tested? For what?”

“Chlamydia. My boyfriend got it, and I know it wasn’t from me.”

The fuck?!

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100 Word Story – Annual Check-up (Part One)

There were at least two dozen people already seated in the waiting area; there were dozens of chairs out, neatly arranged into patterns and locations that made it seem divided—the elderly had their own section, followed by adults in their forties, the early adults to high twenties, then the teens and children stuck together.

It took a moment for me to remember my own age; I almost reached for the I.D in my wallet just to verify. With a shrug, I sat down in the “designated” section for early adults.

With a sigh, I found a seat, “Adulting sucks.”

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100 Word Story – Comedic Flop (Finale)

I shouldn’t have did one more joke—it was the death of me, of my career. I was too confident in myself, thinking that I could make anything come out funny.

With a prideful smile I looked at the crowd and said, “So, what’s up with airline food?”

The entire comedy club fell silent in unison. Not a single person laughed, not even a chuckle or snicker.

I tapped the mic just to make sure it was still working, “This thing on? Mic check.”

Somebody threw a can of beer at me, landing on the stage, “Get down, you suck!”

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100 Word Story – Comedic Flop (Part Four)

The crowd went full force with the cheering and the clapping, a couple of them whistling with joy and excitement. I had to look at my watch just to make sure things were on time.

“Damn,” I mumbled to myself, “it’s almost been an hour since I got on stage. I can’t believe I managed to last that long.”

Everybody started calling out my name, asking me to end it all with one more joke for my session. Seeing all of the smiles and tears of laughter from them, I couldn’t say no.

“Y’all want one more for the road?”

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100 Word Story – Comedic Flop (Part Three)

“So, I told my boss that his intern was already here and that the boss didn’t realize it. My boss just walked away and asked others if they saw the intern. Funny part is, I was the intern.”

Everybody was laughing their asses off, some of them even falling over and slamming their hands on the tables. One of the guys closest to the stage was drinking when I said the joke, making beer shoot out from his nose.

I pointed him out of the crowd with the mic, “Careful, we got a squirter here, and it’s not my ex-wife.”

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100 Word Story – Comedic Flop (Part Two)

As I proceeded to go on I began to walk back and forth across the stage, breaking away at my stiff placement in the center. I carried the mic stand over my shoulder as I continued, fueling myself with a tad more confidence. “And that’s when I tell my cousin, ‘I’m pretty sure the dog got to them.’”

A couple chuckles from a few people in the crowd; there was one guy in the back who was trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard.

I personally didn’t think my material was the best, but they were loving it.

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100 Word Story – Comedic Flop (Part One)

The bright, yellow spotlight was beaming straight at me from the stage lighting setup in the back. The small sea of heads at the bottom of the stage sat motionless, dozens of eyes all focused on me to say something.

My heart was ramming against my rib cage, eager to try and escape this place. In the back of my mind I wanted to follow my heart and run out of here, but all of this was my idea in the first place.

After a small sigh to relax, I grabbed the mic and began, “So, how’s everybody doing tonight?”

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Finale)

Oliver had to leave behind Joseph’s body, the extra weight being too much to carry through the green fog. With one last ditch effort, and the final clean gasp of air from his filters, Oliver sprinted to the last table of the mess hall.

“Tommy!” He screamed, taking off his gas mask. With a leap he jumped over a dining chair, and landed on the last table. In front of him was Tommy, the source of the gas. Determination in his eyes, Oliver smacked the fork from Tommy’s hand.

On his last breath, Oliver begged, “Stop farting, you fat fuck.”

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