Tag: Humor

June Note – 6/6/2018

It’s weird to see days where the temperature is in the 60s for most of the day. Though, being between 60 and 70 degrees is perfect weather for me. It’s not too hot and nice to have a light jacket if I want it.

Hello to the month of June and hello to y’all, the readers. How you doin’?

Now, for those who have been keeping up with these, I normally save the monthly note for about after the first half of the month is over, when I’ve started posting a bit. But this one is really early into the month, not even the first full week has gone by. Reason being that I have a few ideas on my mind that I wanted to let you all know beforehand, whether or not some of these happen or not.

The first thing on the agenda: Site Change and Update.

When I was looking at the drop-down list on the sidebar of the website, I felt like it was a bit cluttered. There are tabs for thing that only happen at a certain time of year or were only a one-time thing. So, what I was thinking was to change the different options to things being genre specific, while having the major, long term projects to have their own thing as well. I haven’t fully decided on that yet, but I should have the new sidebar in effect by the end of the month.

Second: Posting Frequency and Quantity.

Lately, I’ve found my passion for hand-writing my stories out in notebooks and then typing them up for posting. I feel like I get a lot more of a story put out that way and they’re better quality like this. That being said, I may limit my major posts to about twice a week. For a while, I’ve felt like you guys would want various kinds of things to read throughout the week.

I have a bunch of different story ideas, some already being worked on and some taking the back burner until my work load lightens up, so instead of a weekly schedule, I may do like a monthly schedule. It would let me get out more stories and still give me time to prepare the next chapter, if certain ones are going to be long-term. If I still have a small page or two story to put out, I’ll just do it.

Last: Nothing.

You were expecting there to be a third topic, weren’t to? Well, no for this post. These two topics were on my mind a lot, so I wanted to inform you guys of the possible changes coming, to keep you guys in the loop. Some things aren’t final yet, but they’re in the process of being sorted out. Nonetheless, I will continue to put things out for you all to read whenever you have free time or want to distract yourself from work just like I do.

That’s all for now, everybody. Enjoy the rest of your day!

May Note – 5/21/2018

It’s officially spring, y’all! Do you know what that means? It’s fucking allergy season. Be prepared to hear a whole lot of stuffy nose blowing, dramatic sneezing that can’t be faked, and bloodshot eyes that makes people look demonic.

I personally suffer from year-round allergies, but spring is when it all flares up. And believe me, IT SUCKS.

But enough about snot and boogers. It’s another monthly update, and I’m here just to share my progress on some stuff. First and foremost, I’ve officially started a new erotic story that I plan to update every Saturday, if I manage to get the chapter done by then. For those who haven’t been keeping up with my unusual post releases, The series is called “Don’t You Remember?” and it follows a woman named Sara. After waking up in the bed with a mysterious woman, Sara tries to retrace her footsteps to figure out just what the hell happened and how she ended up there. Yes, it may be a bit cliche, but hey, I’m trying. Part One is ready to read, and Part Two was recently posted on Saturday, May 19th. Feel free to take a look if you’re into that kind of stuff.

Second. I more or less have the next chapter of Alex and Sam finished. I just have to do some editing and change some things around, and it’ll be ready for you guys to read. I’m still trying to figure out if I want to change a few details, not really about Alex and Sam as characters, but more or less about certain details, like where they live and other characters that appear in the story. But I’ll figure that out eventually.

Third, but not too important so this part is extremely short, I’ve been reading a lot more lately, so every now and then I’ll be posting a review of what I read and will be adding the category “Book Reviews” to the drop down list. I’ll try to add a post for every book I finish, if I remember.

Lastly, I know I’ve said this before, but I really do appreciate everybody who comes and visits this my website. I know I’m terrible when it comes to posting stuff on a regular schedule, but I I’m really grateful for all those who read my work. Many of you have also been around ever since I first started gaining followers, so to know that there’s both new people and returning readers is a major lift to confidence in myself. And I want to thank all of you for that. On the same tone, please, don’t be afraid to leave comments, suggestions, or send me emails just saying “Hi” or whatever. I really like hearing about your opinions and any questions you guys may have. However, if I have likes on my stories and nobody going bat-shit crazy over tiny error and grammatical mistakes, I must be doing something, right? I didn’t go to college or anything and I’m more-or-less self-teaching myself grammar, so I’m sure I’m making mistakes left and right. Regardless, don’t be afraid to let me know about things you liked, things you didn’t like, things you want to see more off, etc. In case you want to email me, my contact and social information are here at the Contact Luka page.

Well, that’s all for now. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day, or night depending on when you’re reading this.

Don’t You Remember? (Part Two) [18+]

I was still trying to piece together the events of last night. Everything is still a blur, but I need to at least know how things happened. As much as I don’t want to, I’ll have to keep everything a secret from Samuel, my boyfriend. 

It was still surprising that I even ended up in bed with somebody else. Maybe Toni remembers something that I don’t. Wait, did I even see her last night?

Damn, I really can’t remember. Well, fuck it for now. Let me just ease up at home, try and get some sleep. Hopefully that will help bring things back to me. 

That’s how I’m going to keep last night a secret.

I gave Samuel another kiss on his cheek before breaking away and walking down the hallway to the back of the apartment, “Yeah. Toni went shopping earlier this week.”

I couldn’t help showing a coy smile at him, “Hey there, big man. You trying to spy on me while I’m showering, huh?”

Monster Madness – What’s Better: Bleaching or Slime?

“Till death do us part.” It’s a simple line, yet it holds a deep and complex significance behind it. So many say those words, some fall apart rather quickly, and very few actually manage to make it until death is at their door.

In this case, death literally came for them but gave them another life: the life of a living skeleton. After living as a skeleton for so long he has forgotten what it’s like to be human. But he doesn’t mind it at all. However, his wife has a different idea about it.

After a few seconds of hearing my genuine laughter she finally looks at me again with a small smile on her face.

“But come on! You look handsome as a human, with your light brown hair and caramel-color skin. Why don’t you go to an alchemist to become fully human again?”

Monster Madness – Integration at the Counter

Have you ever looked at somebody and automatically assumed they acted a certain way based on your passed experiences? It’s an all too common thing that everybody does at some point in their life, whether they think of something positive or negative.

But out of all of the times that it occurred, how many of those times actually turned out to be completely different than what you expected? Did that person act differently, much more differently than you expected?

Even though I caught the end of the man’s story, I’m interested in knowing a bit more about the struggles of his work. I look at him to give my attention in case he begins a new tale.

I take another sip of my drink as I face the man, his light brown eyes already looking at me. He raises his glass at me with a big grin on his face, “Bosses are the worst part about working in an office, wouldn’t you agree?”

Cups & Gravity

Look at him, that smug grin frozen on his face. His eyes have been glimmering at me for the last few minutes, a sign of something devious being planned in his mind. I can’t take my sight off of him, or else he may try to capture me; I can’t let that happen under any circumstances. I’ve been on a streak for the last few days of being able to achieve my goal and managing to escape unharmed.

However, with each passing day, it has become a bit more complicated and complex to complete my goal. Today, after he finished doing the dishes, he hand dried each cup and placed them in the cupboard. Luckily for me, he left one glass out, his prized whiskey glass the Madam gave him for their wedding anniversary. His has his name engraved on the glass along with the logo of his favorite brand of whiskey. That glass undoubtedly must have cost a fortune to make.

And today’s the day I decide to knock it off of the counter and watch if it it shatters or not. It’s my duty as the feline of this household to make sure that things aren’t breakable. However, every time I knock a cup off of a counter-top, my owner always seems to get angry with me. I don’t understand why.

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – A Pervert at Work, A Pervert at Home

Living around somebody who always has one thing on their mind can be a bit bothersome. Sometimes, the thing that’s on their mind can conflict with their actions and daily routines. However, if there’s some kind of compromise between you and the person, perhaps it won’t turn out so bad.

In Alexis’s case, living with a giant pervert does have its benefits, mostly knowing that she won’t have to worry about feeling unloved. Even if it means having to deal with an occasional booty grab. But when that kind of thing reaches her job, it’s a bit more embarrassing to try and deal with.

Better yet, more surprising based on who it’s coming from.

“Oi, Heather. Watch your back around Alexis. I heard she’s the dominate type.”

Heather’s fingers drop onto the keyboard and she look directly at me, shock in her eyes and her cheeks red with embarrassment, “W-What?!”

“Have your way with me!”

Embarrassing Drinks

Let’s be honest: Nobody really wants to be called out in a bar for something stupid or embarrassing. Nobody wants to be called out for accidentally spilling their drink on themselves, or getting turned down by an attractive person for having bad breath. But there’s one thing that nobody should ever have to endure when at a booming, popular bar.

Nobody wants their parents to have a matching outfit and acting a fool of themselves. Sadly, for Elizabeth, that becomes a reality when her mother forced her to put on a certain shirt on their night out. The thing is, this was suppose to be Elizabeth’s night out, not a mother-daughter night.

“Do I really have to do this?”

Elizabeth couldn’t help but feel numerous pairs of eyes on her. And none of their gazes was part of her intentions, but because of her mother.

Imaginary Platoon

War is a form of art, a violent and dangerous one. Its tool are the men and women on the front lines, looking like both a hero and invading enemy from the outside perspective. The paint, blood and limbs from the fallen.

It’s never a pretty sight to behold with one’s eyes. Some can experience traumatic moments in life if they managed to survive. However, there are those who only tell fables in order to seem like a hero.

Or because they’re probably not old enough to enlist in the army yet.

“Captain…”

“Damn it, Samson, you’re not gonna die on me! I won’t let you, that’s an order! If you disobey an order, I won’t hesitate to call the higher-ups!”

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – Shop and Dash

Nobody wants to look into their fridge and witness an undesired emptiness: no food to eat. A homeowner looking into an empty fridge is like an artist staring at a blank canvas or empty book: something should be there to cover up the empty space. For Samantha, an empty fridge would make it harder for her to create amazing dishes in the kitchen. 

Heading out early in the morning to get some grocery shopping done for a few things, Sam’s trip goes from a simple grab and go, to a mission to sneak around being seen by a specific person. 

Motivated by possibly getting praise and head pats for getting what Alexis asked for, Sam does everything she can to make sure everything ends in her favor. But like usual, she ends up forgetting something. 

Huh, it’s not looking too bad in here. I should still start writing a list of things we need though so I don’t forget.

“Eggs, eggs, eggs… Did I write bread and milk on the list, too?”

Awaiting Enemy

It’s always calm before the storm, silent before the approaching danger. The best way to deal with an arriving enemy is to find tranquility and patience.

Even if the enemy is annoying, a calm mind will always achieve victory.

Sightless, I patiently await for my enemy to approach. Preparing myself, I open the palm of my hand and let it rest on my lap.

My enemy is here…

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – Daily Routine Delivery

In every relationship, there’s always two sides to everything. One side may focus on keeping the family together at home, while the other goes out to work. In this case, it’s Samantha holding down the fort while Alexis tries not to fall asleep behind the desk.

Even though Sam loves to tease her girlfriend with perverted remarks and gaming jokes, she knows when it’s time to get down to business around the house. That’s if she’s able to overcome the constant desire for laziness and video games.

No matter what though, she still wants to make sure that she provides the three main things she was taught in order to keep her girlfriend happy.

Oh shit, she caught onto something. I need to change the topic before she pries deeper!

With nothing to lose, I dive my hand straight in between her boobs and frantically feel around for one of her nipples, “Let me cop a feel!”