Tag: Comedy

Don’t You Remember? (Part Three) [18+]

It’s been a while since I spoke to Toni. I haven’t even hit her up just to see how she’s been the last few days. Although, if I did hit her up now, knowing how she’s been wouldn’t exactly be the main reason.

We both went out that night together, and I still haven’t had anything new come to mind since then. The only real thing I remember was the name of the club and waiting for her to show up. Nothing after that. She must remember something to help me jog my memory back.

I’m just afraid that I might have done something extremely stupid. I mean, I already woke up in another woman’s bed, so I don’t think it can possibly get any worse than that. 

I caught Toni rolling her eyes and drinking more wine, “I swear, you two always sound so lovely-dovey together. It’s almost annoying to me.”

I couldn’t help but to snap back like she does, “If you kept a man, you would understand the whole lovey-dovey thing.”

“Which reminds me, how did that night go?”

“Which night?”

“The night we went out to the club. Don’t tell me you already forgot?”

Totally Not Sleight-of-Hand

He kept looking at me with those golden brown eyes of his, just watching me with such intensity and intrigue. His eyebrow kept going up and down in a pattern as if he’s trying to give me some kind of signal. Even though I’m looking straight at his, my mind is off wandering someplace else, stuck on his previous attempt on trying to wow me with his “special talent.”

I looked back down on the small, round table in front of us, glancing at the deck of card spread out across the surface. Out of the entire fifty-two deck, only one card is face-up: the queen of hearts. I shuffled that deck at least four times, each time using a different method, I thought to myself. He even turned away while I picked the card, and shuffled it. There has to be some kind of strange prank going on, but I can’t figure it out.

“Well, missy,” Eric began with a cocky tone, “you figured out how I did that?”

I kept my eyes glued to the card just for a moment longer before letting out a sigh, shaking my head, and putting on a small smile, “I don’t know how the hell you did it. But yes, that’s my card.”

Eric laughed, probably at me finally letting down my wall of stubbornness. Ever since I was a kid, I never really believed in the whole idea of magic and magicians. As I grew older, I saw a bunch of different tricks being debunked before my eyes, thus only furthering my disbelief. However, all of those times in the past, I was never the participant in a person’s display of “magic.” In this case, being asked out on a date by a so-called magician was the perfect chance to experience it with my own eyes.

Watching him do his tricked spurred up a small interest in seeing what else he could do. I lean back in my seat, a shoulder propped on the back to keep me balanced. “Alright, Mister Magician Man. What else can you do to convince me that magic is real and not just a bunch of sleight of hand stuff?”

Still cocky, Eric chuckled and leaned forward on the table, eyeing me as if I challenged him, “Oh, I have a lot more I can show you. But, I’ll convince you using one of my favorite talents.”

“And what would that be?”

“I can get your wallet without leaving my seat.”

How could that even be possible, I questioned in my head. My wallet is all the way inside my jean pocket, and we’re sitting on opposite ends of the table.

Subcoiously, I slid my hand into my pocket just to make sure my wallet was where it should be. And it was. Pressed against my thigh in my jeans. I gave Eric a smug-ass smile and said, “Try me.”

Eric readied himself by sitting up in his seat and adjusting the small black tie around the collar of his shirt. Informing me that this next trick would require my help, he took off his dark blue blazer and placed it on top of the table.

He gave me a few instructions as he began the trick, “What I want you to do is think about your wallet. When you have a clear image of it in your mind, I want you to reach into one of my jacket sleeves and feel around for something.”

“That’s it? Seems simple enough.”

There’s no way he could possibly convince me that magic exists. He’s just toying with me to make me look stupid.

Looking directly at Eric, just to make sure he doesn’t try to slip under the table, I put a clear visual in my head about my wallet; it’s a plain, light blue open wallet with a small chain attached around one of the flaps. Without telling him what it looks like, I followed his instructions and reached into one of the sleeves of his blazer and felt around.

At first, all I could feel was the sleek, silk lining of the heavy jacket, cool to the touch no matter how long he had it on. As I went further up the sleeve I started to feel a collection of tiny metal links forming a chain. I froze.

No, this is just a trick. He made me think about my wallet beforehand. My mind is just playing with me, making me think that I actually feel it in the sleeve. I shook my head and continued. With my free hand, I put it over my pocket just to make sure my wallet was still there.

But there was no bulge. Nothing was pressing against my thigh.


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— via Daily Prompt: Sleeve

Monster Madness – What’s Better: Bleaching or Slime?

“Till death do us part.” It’s a simple line, yet it holds a deep and complex significance behind it. So many say those words, some fall apart rather quickly, and very few actually manage to make it until death is at their door.

In this case, death literally came for them but gave them another life: the life of a living skeleton. After living as a skeleton for so long he has forgotten what it’s like to be human. But he doesn’t mind it at all. However, his wife has a different idea about it.

After a few seconds of hearing my genuine laughter she finally looks at me again with a small smile on her face.

“But come on! You look handsome as a human, with your light brown hair and caramel-color skin. Why don’t you go to an alchemist to become fully human again?”

Monster Madness – Integration at the Counter

Have you ever looked at somebody and automatically assumed they acted a certain way based on your passed experiences? It’s an all too common thing that everybody does at some point in their life, whether they think of something positive or negative.

But out of all of the times that it occurred, how many of those times actually turned out to be completely different than what you expected? Did that person act differently, much more differently than you expected?

Even though I caught the end of the man’s story, I’m interested in knowing a bit more about the struggles of his work. I look at him to give my attention in case he begins a new tale.

I take another sip of my drink as I face the man, his light brown eyes already looking at me. He raises his glass at me with a big grin on his face, “Bosses are the worst part about working in an office, wouldn’t you agree?”

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – A Pervert at Work, A Pervert at Home

Living around somebody who always has one thing on their mind can be a bit bothersome. Sometimes, the thing that’s on their mind can conflict with their actions and daily routines. However, if there’s some kind of compromise between you and the person, perhaps it won’t turn out so bad.

In Alexis’s case, living with a giant pervert does have its benefits, mostly knowing that she won’t have to worry about feeling unloved. Even if it means having to deal with an occasional booty grab. But when that kind of thing reaches her job, it’s a bit more embarrassing to try and deal with.

Better yet, more surprising based on who it’s coming from.

“Oi, Heather. Watch your back around Alexis. I heard she’s the dominate type.”

Heather’s fingers drop onto the keyboard and she look directly at me, shock in her eyes and her cheeks red with embarrassment, “W-What?!”

“Have your way with me!”

Embarrassing Drinks

Let’s be honest: Nobody really wants to be called out in a bar for something stupid or embarrassing. Nobody wants to be called out for accidentally spilling their drink on themselves, or getting turned down by an attractive person for having bad breath. But there’s one thing that nobody should ever have to endure when at a booming, popular bar.

Nobody wants their parents to have a matching outfit and acting a fool of themselves. Sadly, for Elizabeth, that becomes a reality when her mother forced her to put on a certain shirt on their night out. The thing is, this was suppose to be Elizabeth’s night out, not a mother-daughter night.

“Do I really have to do this?”

Elizabeth couldn’t help but feel numerous pairs of eyes on her. And none of their gazes was part of her intentions, but because of her mother.

Imaginary Platoon

War is a form of art, a violent and dangerous one. Its tool are the men and women on the front lines, looking like both a hero and invading enemy from the outside perspective. The paint, blood and limbs from the fallen.

It’s never a pretty sight to behold with one’s eyes. Some can experience traumatic moments in life if they managed to survive. However, there are those who only tell fables in order to seem like a hero.

Or because they’re probably not old enough to enlist in the army yet.

“Captain…”

“Damn it, Samson, you’re not gonna die on me! I won’t let you, that’s an order! If you disobey an order, I won’t hesitate to call the higher-ups!”

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – Shop and Dash

Nobody wants to look into their fridge and witness an undesired emptiness: no food to eat. A homeowner looking into an empty fridge is like an artist staring at a blank canvas or empty book: something should be there to cover up the empty space. For Samantha, an empty fridge would make it harder for her to create amazing dishes in the kitchen. 

Heading out early in the morning to get some grocery shopping done for a few things, Sam’s trip goes from a simple grab and go, to a mission to sneak around being seen by a specific person. 

Motivated by possibly getting praise and head pats for getting what Alexis asked for, Sam does everything she can to make sure everything ends in her favor. But like usual, she ends up forgetting something. 

Huh, it’s not looking too bad in here. I should still start writing a list of things we need though so I don’t forget.

“Eggs, eggs, eggs… Did I write bread and milk on the list, too?”

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – Daily Routine Delivery

In every relationship, there’s always two sides to everything. One side may focus on keeping the family together at home, while the other goes out to work. In this case, it’s Samantha holding down the fort while Alexis tries not to fall asleep behind the desk.

Even though Sam loves to tease her girlfriend with perverted remarks and gaming jokes, she knows when it’s time to get down to business around the house. That’s if she’s able to overcome the constant desire for laziness and video games.

No matter what though, she still wants to make sure that she provides the three main things she was taught in order to keep her girlfriend happy.

Oh shit, she caught onto something. I need to change the topic before she pries deeper!

With nothing to lose, I dive my hand straight in between her boobs and frantically feel around for one of her nipples, “Let me cop a feel!”

Wings, But No Hands

We continue on with the living situation with Mr. Takiyama, our normal day-to-day human resident, and his mystical creature roommate, Rei the Harpy. It’s that time of the year for Rei to being the usual changes for birds, but it seems more complicated than it should.

Normally, if she was around other harpies, it would be no issue because any problem they have would be solved in a matter of second. But since she’s with a human instead, things don’t turn out how they usually should.

And with feathers constantly falling off, Mr. Takiyama’s trying his best not to see certain things that he shouldn’t see.

“I don’t care what you say.”

“Does this mean it’s okay if I look at you while we’re talking right now?”

In case you forgot how things started, read their fated encounter in Winged Friend.

You’re Going Even If I Drag You

Time for another holiday family event. This time, ice cold beer and barbecuing will be the main event for today.

Surrounded by family and loved ones, it’s sure to be a fun time for all… except for the one person who didn’t want to even be there in the first place.

So many people can relate being dragged somewhere they don’t want to be…

“Yeah, and she told me she wasn’t going. Thus, I have no point in going.”

Burning Daylight

Nobody likes having to get up too early in the morning to do things; people like their sleeping time. Unfortunately, everybody will have those moments when they have to wake up earlier than usual to get something done.

But it’s even worse when you’re woken up early for something you never wanted to do nor had any interest in.

A Father and Son short drabble about one of the many “Rite of Passage” things to bring the sun into male adulthood.