As soon as I see those hardwood double doors, I kick them in and storm inside with my rifle strapped over my shoulder, “Hey, assholes! It took me over an hour to get that damn job done, and you know I value my free time!”
Time to put on a show. Let’s see… Who can I harass first?
Although my actions may seem like I’m extremely pissed off – flipping over stacks of paperwork on every desk within an arm’s reach and shouting out all of he nameplates that I can see – I’m actually pretty calm on the inside. I personally find it very effective to act like a madman at certain times in order to get the thing that you want. And inside of this seemingly orderly office, there’s a certain person I want to speak to.
Storming down the main isle that leads to the back of the office, I approach the large assistant’s desk that sits right next to the door. Typically whenever somebody walks up to the front desk of an office or room, there’s suppose to be a receptionist politely awaiting to check you in for an appointment or whatever reason for your arrival. However, in this instance, the seat behind the heavy, hardwood desk is empty and still spinning around like somebody was in a rush to leave.
Did she go take a leak or somethin’? Is she going through her period? Kaneko’s always at the desk to greet me with a smile. Guess I’ll just wait around until she comes back.
Disappointed just a bit, I let out a small sigh and drop my rifle on top of the desk and prop myself up to sit on the edge. When I look back at the rest of the office, I suddenly realize that I have at least a few dozen pairs of eyes watching me with a heavy sense of terror. And honestly, it’s confusing the hell out of me. These guys are looking at me like they’ve never seen me before. Hell, some of them are even hiding underneath their desks.
I can’t help but call out to them to see what’s up, “You guys alright? You’re all acting like you just saw a murderer or somethin’. C’mon, lighten up. I swear, you guys use to be so much more relaxed when I was around.”
I pick up my rifle and start aiming through the scope, but as soon as I pick it up everybody starts screaming and panicking, heading back underneath their desks.
“What? You guys know I wouldn’t bring this in here without the safety on. See?”
To show an example as a peace offering, I pull the trigger to show that the safety on my rifle is on. When I pull, the strong recoil fires back and a loud pop sounds throughout the office, followed by the screams of a grown man, “My arm!”
“Whoops… Guess it wasn’t on… My bad!” I quickly switch the safety on just to make sure I don’t shoot somebody else.