Volume Control

I think over the course of one minute, the guy’s hand was flailing in front of my face at least twenty times. Even if I was looking down at my screen, just minding my own business, a few of his fingers would pop up in my line-of-sight.

“Dude, I like them with the fat ass! Like, this big!”

Just from the conversation alone, I could tell why his hand appeared in my sight again. With my head still down at my phone I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw the guy—bald head, wearing a beige leather coat and an opened button-up shirt—leaning back with his arms as wide as possible. He kept going on and on, talking about how he’d like to have a chance to have sex with a woman with an ass that large. In his right hand was a half-full glass of dark beer, his fingers barely keeping a grip on it. The guys on the other side of him we’re laughing at his conquest.

The man let out a burp before he came back onto the bar counter, “I-I see you laughin,’ but I’m real! I’ll stick my dick in a big-ass ass.” He took a big swig of his beer and slammed it back down. He took in a big gasp and yelled out, “I’ll find a chick like that—I like big butts!”

I wanted to discreetly listen in on the conversation for as long as I could, but I couldn’t help but to turn my head and look to my right. I could feel my eyes squinting, in confusion at the drunk man next to me. My brain tried to keep up with the conversation, but he quickly jumped back and forth from talking about asses and the laughing person next to him.

You are one strange, bald man.

Originally, I had came to the bar to just relax and unwind from a stressful day at work—a common thing to do. I just wanted to have a nice drink and browse around on my phone for an hour or two, maybe chat it up with one of the bartenders for a bit. Never did I imagine I’d hear such a strange conversation going on next to me. And yet, I couldn’t get enough. Before I knew it, I had my drink tight in my hand as I continued to listen to the drunk man, not even trying to hide the fact that I was listening.

I laughed at the thought, it’s great that he can’t control the volume of his voice. More comedy gold for me.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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