As my desire to cry finally came to an end, I felt my phone vibrating in my front jeans pocket. I pulled it out and panicked when I saw who was calling, “It’s Sam!” I looked at Toni, who was completely calm, loosely holding her glass of wine between her fingers. With her free hand, she motioned for me to give her the phone. I didn’t want her to get any more involved in this, so I asked her, “Are you sure you want to talk to him? He might think something.”
She sucked her teeth and eagerly snatched the phone out of my hand, “Bitch, trust me.” She glanced at the phone before answering, “Hey Sammy-Sam, it’s Toni. How ya doin’?” Toni remained cool and collective as she spoke to Samuel, talking to him in her usual relaxed tone. “Sara? Yeah, she’s in the back using the bathroom. Let me ask.” She brought the phone away from her ear and covered the microphone, “He’s on his way home and wants to know if you want takeout.”
My stomach didn’t feel empty enough to eat, but after having some wine, eating was actually a good idea. “Just tell him I want the usual.”
Toni went back to having the phone conversation, “Sara wants the usual, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be out of before you’re even home. Bye, Sammy!” She hung up and gave my phone back.
“What did he say?” I asked, trying to calm my racing heart.
“He’ll be home in an hour or so. He was yawning my ear off, so there’s that.”
“He wasn’t surprised about you answering my phone? He didn’t sound suspicious?”
Toni laid back and threw her arms over the back of the couch, “Nah, not really. Besides, you’re the one who should worry about coming off as suspicious.”
She was right; I had a reason to try and hide something. I started imagining that girl from before, the one I woke up with. The whiff of strawberries brushed my nose, and my stomach started knotting up. After a deep sigh I rubbed my hands on my face.
Am I going to hide this from Samuel, was all I could think of. I’ve always been honest with him about everything I’ve done, but this easily would have pushed him over the edge. His jealousy wasn’t always healthy, but even through that he was still the man I fell in love with. Part of me thought that he would leave if I told him. Toni already said that she had my back and would keep everything secret, but I started having second thoughts about it.
I brought my head back up and saw the opened bottle of red wine on the coffee table—it was still halfway full. Out of impulse, I grabbed it by the neck and started guzzling it down, taking five or six swigs before putting it back down. I looked at Toni. She had a worried look on her face.
I shook my head and said, “I’ll be fine. I just need a few days to think this all over.”
Toni kept watching me as she replied, “Alright. Just let me know what you decide to do.”
Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo