The box has a small tag on it with instructions on how to properly open the box. It’s almost like the shipping company knows a bunch of people are stupid and would probably break the item inside the box by opening it wrong. With my interest rising by the second, I open the box and stick my hand inside.
“Why the hell is this thing cold? What the fuck did they send me and why won’t it come out?!”
I grip the top of the thing and try to pull, but it’s wedged inside the box too well. Improvising, I flip the box upside down and start hitting the bottom to force the thing to fall out. After a few strikes, it finally slips out and crashes into the floor. I randomly toss the box somewhere in the house and pick up whatever fell out.
Silver, metallic casing with an etched out lion’s head for the decal, my eyes widen when I realize what was inside the box. Just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, I flip it back over to check out the back. Still metallic, there’s an emblem of a shield with the logo from a video game company that I’ve been buying from ever since I was a kid.
No… fucking… WAY!
* * * * *
“Die, you piece of shit! I already know how you play from the last few dozen times you killed me, so there’s no way I’m dying this time!”
My fingers bash against the buttons of my controller without mercy, wrapped in a blanket of fury and rage. Every button gets pressed, making sure that all of my actions in the game are precise to the millisecond. I’m constantly keeping myself aware of every enemy on screen, keeping the boss at a distance, and making sure I don’t run out of stamina and magic energy. The entire battlefield is covered in the bloodstains of the places where I’ve died before, each bloody trail reminding me of the pain and anger I’ve been enduring for the last two hours straight. I’m dead set on making sure I defeat this bastard before I go to sleep tonight.
Standing at no less than five meters tall, an armored giant skeleton, wielding a double-edged battle axe laced with dark aura magic, is the main thing separating my arch-warrior character from reaching the treasure room. Every few seconds, I’m casting temporary buffs to increase my stats to increase my chances of survival and damage per second.
I take a quick glance at the skeleton’s slowly draining health bar at the bottom of the screen. It flashes white every time I manage to land a strike on him, “Come on, just a bit more…”
While I’m sitting on the floor mashing buttons, I can hear Alexis behind me, laying down on the couch, talking to me about the game, “I still can’t believe how much time and dedication you’re willing to put into a video game. You’ve been playing this all day, haven’t you?”
“No. This is the– 忍法破壊! (Spell: Destruction) No, I just got this today. This is the limited steel cover edition of the game I bought last week.”
“That explains why everything looks so familiar. And the fact that I can’t read any of the texts on the screen. How’d you get it?”
“My parents sent it to me in the mail. I guess they remembered that I love this game series– その頭蓋骨を押しつぶすよ！きさま！(I’m going to crush that skull, you bitch!)
After long chains of yelling angry Japanese and nearly slamming my controller for making slight mistakes, I let out the loudest victory cry I’ve ever done: I finally killed the goddamn skeleton. After hours of suffering, dying, and sore thumbs, I can finally put the controller down and relax as the next cut-scene begins to play. I take a big breath in and hold it, letting it all out when I lay back on the floor.