Tag: Comedy

100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part Three)

Oliver and Joseph had to get the situation under control—they had to get back to the source in the mess hall. Going back into the corridors was like walking back onto a battlefield. A thick green gas clouded their vision. The cries and coughing of navy troops who didn’t escape echoed all around them. They carefully navigated around, making sure not to step on anybody.

“Geez… It’s like a post-apocalyptic scene,” Oliver mumbled, stepping over a flailing troop. “They can barely breathe.”

“Make sure you don’t let your filters run out,” Joseph reminded, muffled from wearing the gas mask.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part Two)

Everybody ignored the order to keep calm and orderly—they were all running down the metal corridors as fast as they could. The navy crew pushed each other aside to try and get to the other end of the corridors as fast as possible, only caring about themselves.

Luckily for Oliver and Joseph they were able to pick up on the early warning signs and was able to stay ahead of the pack.

“What’s the plan, Joe?” Oliver questioned between breaths.

“We make it to my quarters. I might have a plan,” Joseph answered, glancing at Oliver for a moment.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part One)

“Hit the deck, he’s gonna blow!”

Oliver looked back at Joseph, trying to figure out why he was suddenly yelling out, “What the hell are you talking about, dude?”

“It’s Tommy, he’s gonna explode!”

“What? What does that even mean?”

Joseph couldn’t control his panicking, frantic mind. He ran up to Oliver and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, staring at him with looming dread in his eyes. “It’s ‘Chili Night’ in the mess hall.”

“And?”

“Tommy is on his forth bowl…”

It finally clicked with him. Oliver knew how dire the situation was. “Dear God, help us…”


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Worm Boy

“Five bucks says you won’t have the guts to eat that worm.”

Dean looked at me, then at the worm in the dried mud puddle. The worm was confused as it tried to bury itself in the dried mud. It eventually gave up and just wiggled around.

Dead was always nervous and freaked out by bugs and stuff, but when he heard money was involved he suddenly became brave. He pinched the worm up and asked, “Five bucks?”

I pulled a five dollar bill from my shorts pocket, “Five bucks.”

In one bite Dean slurped the worm like wet spaghetti.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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Wrong Spell

Wrong Spell

I know there’s a weird-ass anime screenshot posted on here, but hear me out for a second.

So last night I was relaxing at my usual go-to bar after leaving work, just to unwind and take a load off before going home for the night. I was writing something up on my phone when I got a sudden hit of Writer’s Block. What I then did was I went onto Twitter and asked for an opening liner to help get the thoughts going.

A friend of mine shared this screenshot, and I had absolutely no idea what anime it was from, so I just winged it and wrote this. I didn’t look up the source until AFTER I wrote it.

The anime is called Oretachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai-under the innocent sky (We Without Wings – Under the Innocent Sky.) I didn’t look too much into what the plot is about, but I did manage to find the scene where the screenshot came from. In case you want to watch it, here’s the link: Oretachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai

And, after looking at the video, I don’t think this story was tooooo far off…

Enjoy!

Volume Control

I think over the course of one minute, the guy’s hand was flailing in front of my face at least twenty times. Even if I was looking down at my screen, just minding my own business, a few of his fingers would pop up in my line-of-sight.

“Dude, I like them with the fat ass! Like, this big!”

Just from the conversation alone, I could tell why his hand appeared in my sight again. With my head still down at my phone I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw the guy—bald head, wearing a beige leather coat and an opened button-up shirt—leaning back with his arms as wide as possible. He kept going on and on, talking about how he’d like to have a chance to have sex with a woman with an ass that large. In his right hand was a half-full glass of dark beer, his fingers barely keeping a grip on it. The guys on the other side of him we’re laughing at his conquest.

The man let out a burp before he came back onto the bar counter, “I-I see you laughin,’ but I’m real! I’ll stick my dick in a big-ass ass.” He took a big swig of his beer and slammed it back down. He took in a big gasp and yelled out, “I’ll find a chick like that—I like big butts!”

I wanted to discreetly listen in on the conversation for as long as I could, but I couldn’t help but to turn my head and look to my right. I could feel my eyes squinting, in confusion at the drunk man next to me. My brain tried to keep up with the conversation, but he quickly jumped back and forth from talking about asses and the laughing person next to him.

You are one strange, bald man.

Originally, I had came to the bar to just relax and unwind from a stressful day at work—a common thing to do. I just wanted to have a nice drink and browse around on my phone for an hour or two, maybe chat it up with one of the bartenders for a bit. Never did I imagine I’d hear such a strange conversation going on next to me. And yet, I couldn’t get enough. Before I knew it, I had my drink tight in my hand as I continued to listen to the drunk man, not even trying to hide the fact that I was listening.

I laughed at the thought, it’s great that he can’t control the volume of his voice. More comedy gold for me.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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Manga Review – Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! – Volume One

Manga Review – Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! – Volume One

Magical powers, bow-filled outfits and hair, and a small, flying creature to overlook the protagonist—all common things found in your usual magical girl series. Destructive punches and kicks, chain-smoking pack after pack, and rage-filled attitudes with the dirty language—things usually seen in a gritty action series. Ever seen what it’s like when there’s a magical girl who loves punching things through walls, doesn’t like going to class, and can burn out a cigarette with a single pull?

That’s what Machimaho does.

Following the life of Kayo Majiba, an obvious delinquent who constantly needs a smoke, Machimaho blends the two different genres together. After a random encounter with a mythical creature, who’s job is to monitor the appearance of the Atasunmo, evil creatures who love to feast on the negative energy of others, Kayo must now take up role of protecting the universe from these evil beings. However, being the delinquent that she is, Kayo doesn’t care about any of this.

Both the art and story were done by Souryu, and publishing by Seven Seas Entertainment. Through the use of dynamic angles, detailed expressions and constant action to keep the reader’s attention, Souryu gave a great first volume. Across the first few chapters, we are introduced to a small cast of characters who each have a unique personality that either provides comedic relief, helps establish the overall story, or even helps add to the dramatic and over-the-top fight scenes. We’re given a small glimpse into Kayo’s schooling and her home life, which is anything but the ordinary life a high school student should want or have.

machimaho1-cover
(Source: Seven Seas Entertainment)

The art style is also a very good strong point. In casual scenes there are moments when a character loses their temper, and the detail, and sometimes over-exaggerated expression that are use are either scary or hilarious, based on the emotion being shown—Kayo’s face can get pretty terrifying. But when the fight scenes happen, that’s when the art is at its best. There’s extra emphasis when Kayo sends her fist flying into an enemy, forcing them to go through the walls of a building. Seeing the crater left behind in an enemy’s head and the destructive power of what they’re capable of is very well detailed; of course, that if they manage to live through Kayo’s fists and heel kicks.

Besides having a powerful art style, the dialogues and interactions between characters are actually well thought out. Although it may seem like everything just has some kind of rage or anger behind it, there are parts where we learn more about each character’s thought process instead of just seeing what they do. Well, aside from the use of panty shots after Kayo kicks or gets caught in an explosion, which I personally don’t mind, as some of the poses she’s in are pretty funny. Aside from the main story, there are single page little side stories after each chapter, focusing more on Kayo’s off time, a nice little touch in between fight scenes.

On the surface of the story, Machimaho will come across as a renegade magical girl story, which is totally fine. But do keep in mind, it’s not Sailor Moon or Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica; right of the back, that’s noticeable. Souryu took a popular theme and put a new spin on it, and it’s pretty solid. And after reading it all the way through, to the introduction of Kayo’s potential rival, I can’t wait to see how much more ass she’ll be  kicking.

Want to read it for yourself? Machimaho is currently out in print and digital copies on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other major book retailers.


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Don’t You Remember? (Part Three) [18+]

It’s been a while since I spoke to Toni. I haven’t even hit her up just to see how she’s been the last few days. Although, if I did hit her up now, knowing how she’s been wouldn’t exactly be the main reason.

We both went out that night together, and I still haven’t had anything new come to mind since then. The only real thing I remember was the name of the club and waiting for her to show up. Nothing after that. She must remember something to help me jog my memory back.

I’m just afraid that I might have done something extremely stupid. I mean, I already woke up in another woman’s bed, so I don’t think it can possibly get any worse than that. 

I caught Toni rolling her eyes and drinking more wine, “I swear, you two always sound so lovely-dovey together. It’s almost annoying to me.”

I couldn’t help but to snap back like she does, “If you kept a man, you would understand the whole lovey-dovey thing.”

“Which reminds me, how did that night go?”

“Which night?”

“The night we went out to the club. Don’t tell me you already forgot?”

Totally Not Sleight-of-Hand

He kept looking at me with those golden brown eyes of his, just watching me with such intensity and intrigue. His eyebrow kept going up and down in a pattern as if he’s trying to give me some kind of signal. Even though I’m looking straight at his, my mind is off wandering someplace else, stuck on his previous attempt on trying to wow me with his “special talent.”

I looked back down on the small, round table in front of us, glancing at the deck of card spread out across the surface. Out of the entire fifty-two deck, only one card is face-up: the queen of hearts. I shuffled that deck at least four times, each time using a different method, I thought to myself. He even turned away while I picked the card, and shuffled it. There has to be some kind of strange prank going on, but I can’t figure it out.

“Well, missy,” Eric began with a cocky tone, “you figured out how I did that?”

I kept my eyes glued to the card just for a moment longer before letting out a sigh, shaking my head, and putting on a small smile, “I don’t know how the hell you did it. But yes, that’s my card.”

Eric laughed, probably at me finally letting down my wall of stubbornness. Ever since I was a kid, I never really believed in the whole idea of magic and magicians. As I grew older, I saw a bunch of different tricks being debunked before my eyes, thus only furthering my disbelief. However, all of those times in the past, I was never the participant in a person’s display of “magic.” In this case, being asked out on a date by a so-called magician was the perfect chance to experience it with my own eyes.

Watching him do his tricked spurred up a small interest in seeing what else he could do. I lean back in my seat, a shoulder propped on the back to keep me balanced. “Alright, Mister Magician Man. What else can you do to convince me that magic is real and not just a bunch of sleight of hand stuff?”

Still cocky, Eric chuckled and leaned forward on the table, eyeing me as if I challenged him, “Oh, I have a lot more I can show you. But, I’ll convince you using one of my favorite talents.”

“And what would that be?”

“I can get your wallet without leaving my seat.”

How could that even be possible, I questioned in my head. My wallet is all the way inside my jean pocket, and we’re sitting on opposite ends of the table.

Subconsciously, I slid my hand into my pocket just to make sure my wallet was where it should be. And it was. Pressed against my thigh in my jeans. I gave Eric a smug-ass smile and said, “Try me.”

Eric readied himself by sitting up in his seat and adjusting the small black tie around the collar of his shirt. Informing me that this next trick would require my help, he took off his dark blue blazer and placed it on top of the table.

He gave me a few instructions as he began the trick, “What I want you to do is think about your wallet. When you have a clear image of it in your mind, I want you to reach into one of my jacket sleeves and feel around for something.”

“That’s it? Seems simple enough.”

There’s no way he could possibly convince me that magic exists. He’s just toying with me to make me look stupid.

Looking directly at Eric, just to make sure he doesn’t try to slip under the table, I put a clear visual in my head about my wallet; it’s a plain, light blue open wallet with a small chain attached around one of the flaps. Without telling him what it looks like, I followed his instructions and reached into one of the sleeves of his blazer and felt around.

At first, all I could feel was the sleek, silk lining of the heavy jacket, cool to the touch no matter how long he had it on. As I went further up the sleeve I started to feel a collection of tiny metal links forming a chain. I froze.

No, this is just a trick. He made me think about my wallet beforehand. My mind is just playing with me, making me think that I actually feel it in the sleeve. I shook my head and continued. With my free hand, I put it over my pocket just to make sure my wallet was still there.

But there was no bulge. Nothing was pressing against my thigh.


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— via Daily Prompt: Sleeve

Monster Madness – What’s Better: Bleaching or Slime?

“Till death do us part.” It’s a simple line, yet it holds a deep and complex significance behind it. So many say those words, some fall apart rather quickly, and very few actually manage to make it until death is at their door.

In this case, death literally came for them but gave them another life: the life of a living skeleton. After living as a skeleton for so long he has forgotten what it’s like to be human. But he doesn’t mind it at all. However, his wife has a different idea about it.

After a few seconds of hearing my genuine laughter she finally looks at me again with a small smile on her face.

“But come on! You look handsome as a human, with your light brown hair and caramel-color skin. Why don’t you go to an alchemist to become fully human again?”

Monster Madness – Integration at the Counter

Have you ever looked at somebody and automatically assumed they acted a certain way based on your passed experiences? It’s an all too common thing that everybody does at some point in their life, whether they think of something positive or negative.

But out of all of the times that it occurred, how many of those times actually turned out to be completely different than what you expected? Did that person act differently, much more differently than you expected?

Even though I caught the end of the man’s story, I’m interested in knowing a bit more about the struggles of his work. I look at him to give my attention in case he begins a new tale.

I take another sip of my drink as I face the man, his light brown eyes already looking at me. He raises his glass at me with a big grin on his face, “Bosses are the worst part about working in an office, wouldn’t you agree?”

Alex & Sam’s Daily Life – A Pervert at Work, A Pervert at Home

Living around somebody who always has one thing on their mind can be a bit bothersome. Sometimes, the thing that’s on their mind can conflict with their actions and daily routines. However, if there’s some kind of compromise between you and the person, perhaps it won’t turn out so bad.

In Alexis’s case, living with a giant pervert does have its benefits, mostly knowing that she won’t have to worry about feeling unloved. Even if it means having to deal with an occasional booty grab. But when that kind of thing reaches her job, it’s a bit more embarrassing to try and deal with.

Better yet, more surprising based on who it’s coming from.

“Oi, Heather. Watch your back around Alexis. I heard she’s the dominate type.”

Heather’s fingers drop onto the keyboard and she look directly at me, shock in her eyes and her cheeks red with embarrassment, “W-What?!”

“Have your way with me!”