Tag: Humor

100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part Four)

The pair pushed open the double doors to the mess hall. The entire area was silent, the only sound coming from the other side, near the back wall: the sound of utensils scraping the inside of a ceramic bowl. Oliver and Joseph struggled and clenched their teeth as they walked past numerous empty seats.

“I can’t believe Tommy can sit in this funk,” Oliver said with amazement.

Joseph coughed a bit before he could reply, “He probably doesn’t notice it since the smell is coming from him.” Joseph swallowed some bile that came up. “Jesus, it’s coming through my mask.”


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part Three)

Oliver and Joseph had to get the situation under control—they had to get back to the source in the mess hall. Going back into the corridors was like walking back onto a battlefield. A thick green gas clouded their vision. The cries and coughing of navy troops who didn’t escape echoed all around them. They carefully navigated around, making sure not to step on anybody.

“Geez… It’s like a post-apocalyptic scene,” Oliver mumbled, stepping over a flailing troop. “They can barely breathe.”

“Make sure you don’t let your filters run out,” Joseph reminded, muffled from wearing the gas mask.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part Two)

Everybody ignored the order to keep calm and orderly—they were all running down the metal corridors as fast as they could. The navy crew pushed each other aside to try and get to the other end of the corridors as fast as possible, only caring about themselves.

Luckily for Oliver and Joseph they were able to pick up on the early warning signs and was able to stay ahead of the pack.

“What’s the plan, Joe?” Oliver questioned between breaths.

“We make it to my quarters. I might have a plan,” Joseph answered, glancing at Oliver for a moment.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Let It Rip (Part One)

“Hit the deck, he’s gonna blow!”

Oliver looked back at Joseph, trying to figure out why he was suddenly yelling out, “What the hell are you talking about, dude?”

“It’s Tommy, he’s gonna explode!”

“What? What does that even mean?”

Joseph couldn’t control his panicking, frantic mind. He ran up to Oliver and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, staring at him with looming dread in his eyes. “It’s ‘Chili Night’ in the mess hall.”

“And?”

“Tommy is on his forth bowl…”

It finally clicked with him. Oliver knew how dire the situation was. “Dear God, help us…”


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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100 Word Story – Worm Boy

“Five bucks says you won’t have the guts to eat that worm.”

Dean looked at me, then at the worm in the dried mud puddle. The worm was confused as it tried to bury itself in the dried mud. It eventually gave up and just wiggled around.

Dead was always nervous and freaked out by bugs and stuff, but when he heard money was involved he suddenly became brave. He pinched the worm up and asked, “Five bucks?”

I pulled a five dollar bill from my shorts pocket, “Five bucks.”

In one bite Dean slurped the worm like wet spaghetti.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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Wrong Spell

Wrong Spell

I know there’s a weird-ass anime screenshot posted on here, but hear me out for a second.

So last night I was relaxing at my usual go-to bar after leaving work, just to unwind and take a load off before going home for the night. I was writing something up on my phone when I got a sudden hit of Writer’s Block. What I then did was I went onto Twitter and asked for an opening liner to help get the thoughts going.

A friend of mine shared this screenshot, and I had absolutely no idea what anime it was from, so I just winged it and wrote this. I didn’t look up the source until AFTER I wrote it.

The anime is called Oretachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai-under the innocent sky (We Without Wings – Under the Innocent Sky.) I didn’t look too much into what the plot is about, but I did manage to find the scene where the screenshot came from. In case you want to watch it, here’s the link: Oretachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai

And, after looking at the video, I don’t think this story was tooooo far off…

Enjoy!

Volume Control

I think over the course of one minute, the guy’s hand was flailing in front of my face at least twenty times. Even if I was looking down at my screen, just minding my own business, a few of his fingers would pop up in my line-of-sight.

“Dude, I like them with the fat ass! Like, this big!”

Just from the conversation alone, I could tell why his hand appeared in my sight again. With my head still down at my phone I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw the guy—bald head, wearing a beige leather coat and an opened button-up shirt—leaning back with his arms as wide as possible. He kept going on and on, talking about how he’d like to have a chance to have sex with a woman with an ass that large. In his right hand was a half-full glass of dark beer, his fingers barely keeping a grip on it. The guys on the other side of him we’re laughing at his conquest.

The man let out a burp before he came back onto the bar counter, “I-I see you laughin,’ but I’m real! I’ll stick my dick in a big-ass ass.” He took a big swig of his beer and slammed it back down. He took in a big gasp and yelled out, “I’ll find a chick like that—I like big butts!”

I wanted to discreetly listen in on the conversation for as long as I could, but I couldn’t help but to turn my head and look to my right. I could feel my eyes squinting, in confusion at the drunk man next to me. My brain tried to keep up with the conversation, but he quickly jumped back and forth from talking about asses and the laughing person next to him.

You are one strange, bald man.

Originally, I had came to the bar to just relax and unwind from a stressful day at work—a common thing to do. I just wanted to have a nice drink and browse around on my phone for an hour or two, maybe chat it up with one of the bartenders for a bit. Never did I imagine I’d hear such a strange conversation going on next to me. And yet, I couldn’t get enough. Before I knew it, I had my drink tight in my hand as I continued to listen to the drunk man, not even trying to hide the fact that I was listening.

I laughed at the thought, it’s great that he can’t control the volume of his voice. More comedy gold for me.


Copyright © 2019 by Luka Tatsujo

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Drinks with Shelia [18+]

Shelia slid the drink in front of me and I immediately took a few sips, trying to get past the harsh alcohol in my mouth. The bar was loud as always, but that was something I’m used to.

But when I first went inside, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something didn’t feel right. The place was still crowded, the food smelled good, and alcohol was flying all around.

So, what was different today?

Sheila had a big grin on her face, hands on her hips.

“What?” I asked. “Somethin’ on mah face?”

Shelia laughed loudly, fixing her tank top to be more suited for work, “Yeah, I know. I can’t wait for this shift to be over. I have a lot more I want to do to you.”

Manga Review – Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! – Volume One

Manga Review – Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! – Volume One

Magical powers, bow-filled outfits and hair, and a small, flying creature to overlook the protagonist—all common things found in your usual magical girl series. Destructive punches and kicks, chain-smoking pack after pack, and rage-filled attitudes with the dirty language—things usually seen in a gritty action series. Ever seen what it’s like when there’s a magical girl who loves punching things through walls, doesn’t like going to class, and can burn out a cigarette with a single pull?

That’s what Machimaho does.

Following the life of Kayo Majiba, an obvious delinquent who constantly needs a smoke, Machimaho blends the two different genres together. After a random encounter with a mythical creature, who’s job is to monitor the appearance of the Atasunmo, evil creatures who love to feast on the negative energy of others, Kayo must now take up role of protecting the universe from these evil beings. However, being the delinquent that she is, Kayo doesn’t care about any of this.

Both the art and story were done by Souryu, and publishing by Seven Seas Entertainment. Through the use of dynamic angles, detailed expressions and constant action to keep the reader’s attention, Souryu gave a great first volume. Across the first few chapters, we are introduced to a small cast of characters who each have a unique personality that either provides comedic relief, helps establish the overall story, or even helps add to the dramatic and over-the-top fight scenes. We’re given a small glimpse into Kayo’s schooling and her home life, which is anything but the ordinary life a high school student should want or have.

machimaho1-cover
(Source: Seven Seas Entertainment)

The art style is also a very good strong point. In casual scenes there are moments when a character loses their temper, and the detail, and sometimes over-exaggerated expression that are use are either scary or hilarious, based on the emotion being shown—Kayo’s face can get pretty terrifying. But when the fight scenes happen, that’s when the art is at its best. There’s extra emphasis when Kayo sends her fist flying into an enemy, forcing them to go through the walls of a building. Seeing the crater left behind in an enemy’s head and the destructive power of what they’re capable of is very well detailed; of course, that if they manage to live through Kayo’s fists and heel kicks.

Besides having a powerful art style, the dialogues and interactions between characters are actually well thought out. Although it may seem like everything just has some kind of rage or anger behind it, there are parts where we learn more about each character’s thought process instead of just seeing what they do. Well, aside from the use of panty shots after Kayo kicks or gets caught in an explosion, which I personally don’t mind, as some of the poses she’s in are pretty funny. Aside from the main story, there are single page little side stories after each chapter, focusing more on Kayo’s off time, a nice little touch in between fight scenes.

On the surface of the story, Machimaho will come across as a renegade magical girl story, which is totally fine. But do keep in mind, it’s not Sailor Moon or Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica; right of the back, that’s noticeable. Souryu took a popular theme and put a new spin on it, and it’s pretty solid. And after reading it all the way through, to the introduction of Kayo’s potential rival, I can’t wait to see how much more ass she’ll be  kicking.

Want to read it for yourself? Machimaho is currently out in print and digital copies on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other major book retailers.


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100 Word Story – Quote Mr. Masters

A great man once said… something I can barely remember. I think it was something about a tree and growth, I don’t know. All I’m certain was that the moral of the quote was something about practice.

I think it was something like “A tree takes decades to reach its full height,” or some shit along those lines. All I know is Mr. Masters was trying to tell me about my growing potential for alchemy, and that it would take years before I truly understood what kind of power I was dealing with.

Something like that, at least I think.


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100 Word Story – Interrogation

So far, it is going great. I had originally prepared myself for some kind of intense interrogation, thinking of some answers to questions beforehand, but they’ve been acting really nice and not threatening to me. At least, not yet. Sometimes things going too smoothly is a bad thing.

“So, Eric,” Mrs. Hudson begins, “What’s Henrietta’s best trait about her?”

My honest answer is to talk about how big her boobs are, but I don’t think her mother would like that. Instead, I’ll just say, “She knows how to make people laugh with her cheesy puns.”

Mrs. Hudson smiles. Right answer.


 

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June Note – 6/6/2018

It’s weird to see days where the temperature is in the 60s for most of the day. Though, being between 60 and 70 degrees is perfect weather for me. It’s not too hot and nice to have a light jacket if I want it.

Hello to the month of June and hello to y’all, the readers. How you doin’?

Now, for those who have been keeping up with these, I normally save the monthly note for about after the first half of the month is over, when I’ve started posting a bit. But this one is really early into the month, not even the first full week has gone by. Reason being that I have a few ideas on my mind that I wanted to let you all know beforehand, whether or not some of these happen or not.

The first thing on the agenda: Site Change and Update.

When I was looking at the drop-down list on the sidebar of the website, I felt like it was a bit cluttered. There are tabs for thing that only happen at a certain time of year or were only a one-time thing. So, what I was thinking was to change the different options to things being genre specific, while having the major, long term projects to have their own thing as well. I haven’t fully decided on that yet, but I should have the new sidebar in effect by the end of the month.

Second: Posting Frequency and Quantity.

Lately, I’ve found my passion for hand-writing my stories out in notebooks and then typing them up for posting. I feel like I get a lot more of a story put out that way and they’re better quality like this. That being said, I may limit my major posts to about twice a week. For a while, I’ve felt like you guys would want various kinds of things to read throughout the week.

I have a bunch of different story ideas, some already being worked on and some taking the back burner until my work load lightens up, so instead of a weekly schedule, I may do like a monthly schedule. It would let me get out more stories and still give me time to prepare the next chapter, if certain ones are going to be long-term. If I still have a small page or two story to put out, I’ll just do it.

Last: Nothing.

You were expecting there to be a third topic, weren’t to? Well, no for this post. These two topics were on my mind a lot, so I wanted to inform you guys of the possible changes coming, to keep you guys in the loop. Some things aren’t final yet, but they’re in the process of being sorted out. Nonetheless, I will continue to put things out for you all to read whenever you have free time or want to distract yourself from work just like I do.

That’s all for now, everybody. Enjoy the rest of your day!