Mock Script – Family Guy: Peter’s Kung Fu Adventure

Mock Script – Family Guy: Peter’s Kung Fu Adventure

SCENE 7

[Jump to a couple days later, in the afternoon, at the inside of the THE DRUNKEN CLAM. It’s the normal shot of QUAGMIRE and JOE sitting in their usual booth seats inside the bar, both of them with a drink in front of them and watching the television before talking.]

JOE
I wonder what’s taking Peter so long to get here. He said he had something important he needed to show us.

QUAGMIREYeah, he needs to hurry up. I have a date in two hours with this Thai chick I met the other night.

JOE
Is she hot?

QUAGMIRE
Bangin’ body. Her voice can be a bit raspy and deep at times, but you quickly ignore it when you see how perfect her body is. She said she had surgery in the past, but you can barely see any scars or anything.

JOE
Well, good luck on your date.

[QUAGMIRE and JOE do a quick toast and drink some of their beers. Shortly after doing that, they hear the door to the bar open up and PETER calling out.

PETER
[Walks up to the booth.] Sorry I’m late, fellas. I had to do some last minute touch-ups.

[QUAGMIRE and JOE stare at PETER in complete awe and surprise, seeing the new looks he did to himself. QUAGMIRE and JOE side-eye each other for a moment before somebody finally speaks.]

QUAGMIRE
[Tongue-tied.] Peter, you, uh… I can see you really stuck to your end of the bet.

PETER
Yep. I’m a man of my word. Shaved off everything, head down to my chin.

QUAGMIRE
I… hmm… I honestly didn’t think you’d look like this. [Looks at JOE.] Joe, would you like to do the honors? We’re probably thinking the same thing.

JOE
Sure. [Puts it bluntly.] Peter, you look like a skin head.

PETER
[Takes a breath.] Yeah, yeah. I do. At first, I just felt like a normal bald guy walking down the streets, but then I saw these couple of guys walking by saying, “Hail, brother.” and saluting me as I walked by. I think they followed me down here.

[PETER, QUAGMIRE, and JOE all focus on the front window of the bar, seeing a small group of people standing outside with big grins on their faces.]

GROUP OF PEOPLE
Hail, brother!

JOE
You should probably wear a hat until your hair grows back.

PETER
Good idea.

ROLL END CREDITS

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