Tag: Diary

I’m Sorry for Vanishing – A Luka Tatsujo Letter

To all of my followers, both long-term follows and new ones.

This is something I’ve been meaning to write for a long time now. I have so many regrets that I promised and ideas that I wanted to do, but never fulfilled them. I had so many ambitions that needed free time I didn’t have. And as life went on, I’d be thrown into the grinder, barely making it out. But regardless of all that, there’s one thing I need to say.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted anything in months. I’m sorry for practically dropping off from the face of the planet. I’m sorry for not living up to the promises I made.

I started Luka’s Notebooks almost 8 years ago, and I went into it head-first. I was posting damn-near every day. From fan-fictions to my favorite video games, one-off ideas about a romantic encounter, to even a mini-series about a contractor working on a house, I was dedicated to my work. But with everything that happens to content creators, I can finally admit I finally reached a burnout.

The last post I uploaded was back in January. However, I had something scheduled to post back in March, but it was sadly lost during the period when WordPress switched to Jetpack, so there’s that. But this post isn’t about that.

I’ve neglected all of you who was waiting for my newest story, regardless of how long it was. I’m trying to get back to the “old me.” My passion for writing hasn’t fully faded away. Writing for so long without taking time out to recover can be very damaging to a person. And I’m sadly one of those people.

During my time away, I actually started a gaming Youtube channel (moreso, dedicated more time to a channel I already made.) It became my new creative outlet for the last couple months. I would link it, but I kinda want to leave my writing and my channel as two separate entities. If I do share it here, y’all will know.

With that put aside, I’ve gone through a lot of live situations, most notably my car accident (it literally happened 2 days after my birthday.) And on the usual topic of my job, which I talked about very heavily, a lot has happened with that as well. But I don’t want to go into all of that; if I did, I’d have a 10-page essay, and I don’t to bore anybody with the details.

I’m sorry for being to vague with everything, and I’m sure some of you are eagar for something new. I can’t make any promises of something extravagant or mind-breaking, but just know. I’m slowly making my return everybody.

I’ll see y’all soon.

The Disappearance of Luka Tatsujo

How long has it been since I had a consistent posting schedule? Three, four months? I have a bad feeling that it’s even longer than that, and the thought of that is quite… depressing.

Hey, everybody. How ya doing? How has the New Year been treating you? You staying on track with any resolutions you made, or do you not care about that kind of stuff. I hope you all are doing great. I know reading this suddenly out of the blue is like seeing a ghost right in front of you. And to be honest, I kinda feel like a ghost right now. Or more like an empty shell of who I was. Let me elaborate.

Last year I was on a good path; I had a good schedule going, I was pumping out story after story, after story, and I had a rather regular flow of how things went on with my life and posting on the website. Work was hectic, but it wasn’t too crazy to deal with. But when time went on, stress from work started getting to me, and when I mean that, it hit me like a fucking truck full of cement bricks running me over and backing up just to finish the job.

Continue reading The Disappearance of Luka Tatsujo

Extra, Extra! I Have Some News for You!

HIYA! ‘Sup, y’all? How yuz be izz?

… I’m sorry, I just wanted to have fun for a moment. Hey, everybody. How are you all doing this fine Thursday afternoon? Did anybody end up buying their own copy of the Black Cat comic I posted about last week? And if you did, how did you enjoy it? Did it match up to the review I did? And if you didn’t don’t worry about it. Comics aren’t for everybody.

Now, let me get straight to the point about this. I have some very, very, VERY exciting news to share with all of you. So, let me start with the most straight-forward one.

Continue reading →

So I Did A Thing… And I May Keep It

Howdy, everybody. Long time no see. Sorry nothing new has been posted in a week or so. I recently picked up some extra shifts at my job to get some extra spending cash, so I’ve been trying to just relax after work and not make my body break down again. After this final week or so, I’ll be putting on a new schedule to help make sure I keep writing and posting for you all. I know I say this so much already, but I really appreciate all of you guys being patient with me. And don’t worry, this lost time will not be for nothing.

For the last month or so, I’ve been thinking about how I can improve my stories and posts. I have worked on making various styles for different kinds of stories, themes, and plots, doing something quick and simple or going complex just for the hell of it. But the one thing that I just couldn’t get around was having more visual aids along with my works. I didn’t like the idea of constantly looking online for an image that could somehow convey the story or enhance it; I wanted to be as original as possible.

And for a long, long time, I had a semi-solution in mind, but I felt like it wouldn’t be as good as it could be. But now, after grinding at work for some extra cash, I can start putting that plan into action.

I’m gonna start making characters in The Sims 4 and taking screenshots.

I know this may sound dumb, but this was something I wanted to do for the longest time. I’ve always wanted towrite new stories and replicate old ones by using the character creation in The Sims 4, but because of the laptop I had, I felt the image quality wouldn’t be good enough–I had to run it with a mix of low and medium settings to make sure not to blow out my laptop. But with this new one, I can run it perfectly at max settings, hopefully getting the best image possible now. I’m sure there are mods out there to help enhance textures even further, but the default settings are enough for me. I’m still very new at doing something like this, so excuse me for not taking the best of shots.

I played around a bit today in the game to get a better feel of how the camera works and the different things I can do for certain angles and shots.

These first few shots here were just a testing phase. What I may do is read some of my older stories, change them up a bit, and then try to recreate them in The Sims 4 to give more visual appeal to them. I also may do some screenshots for a couple of projects I’ve currently had sitting on the back burner.

So, what do you think? You think doing this will help make my stories better? Let me know what you think, I’m always looking for peoples’ opinions and concerns! You can always email me, contact me on Twitter, or leave comments on posts!

Luka’s Stuck in A Dry Spell, Again. And Experimenting with Styles.

Hey, y’all. Sorry I haven’t been posting anything in a while. My brain has been all over the place lately, and I was trying to get out of another dry spell of having no inspiration. I’ve been trying to get out of the habit of waiting for an idea to come to mind before I start writing, but it turns out that I can go days without anything coming to me (big surprise.) Part of me started thinking that since I write and post so many different short stories and ideas to the website, it quickly drains my pool of inspiration. On top of that, I tend to read some of my older stuff that’s up and get ideas to extend it or change something, but I figured people wouldn’t want to read the same thing over again, even if it has minor or major changes to it.

To help at least get me to my desk and write something on most days, I’ve been working on older ideas that I’ve started in one of the dozens of notebooks I own. And crazy enough, when I started hand-writing my stories again, I realized just how much more writing I can get one. When I noticed this, I took some time to think about myself, as a writer and content creator.

Continue reading Luka’s Update

Luka’s 2020 Year-End Round-Up… It Sucked.

I honestly didn’t even know how to start this off. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to do a 2020 wrap-up because, well, 2020 fucking sucked. Not just for me, but for just about everybody on the planet. We’ve all went through some kind of negative effect from it, some worse than others no doubt, but we all lost something last year. However, through all of the lost, enduring all of the sadness and pain we’ve experienced last year, some of us managed to find some good out it. And in a crazy way, I did too. I can honestly say that all of the extra work I was stuck doing for about eight months out of last year actually lead me to what I’m currently doing today. I don’t really want to make this 2020 wrap-up too long, and I’m trying to avoid making it all about me, sorry about that, so I’m just going to get straight to all of the points I want to focus on.

First and foremost, all of us who made it through the chaotic and hectic year that was 2020, whether you were in Europe, South America, Asia, Africa, or wherever you reside in the world that I didn’t mention, you must keep this in mind. If you’re reading this: you made it. Last year was a hard time for everybody. Many of us lost our jobs due to restrictions and lockdowns, some of us were pushed to the brink of our health because we were swamped with extra work, and some just didn’t know how to cope with everything that was going on. We lost loved ones, for health reasons, for rising political talk, and people finally showed their true colors during it all. We’ve all lost something in some kind of way. But there is one thing that we can all think about.

Through all of the heartache, health risks, and broken bonds, we can say we made it to the new year. I know the road ahead may look bleak and the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t within sight, but trust and believe, making it through one more year is progress. And with the new year, it’s time for us to evaluate our own self-worth and use that for making even more progress for the new year. Know what you’re capable of and have confidence in yourself. Know you who are as a person and don’t let others talk you out of it.

In short: grab 2021 by the balls and make it the year you learn about who you are.

Don’t Worry, Luka isn’t Dead. I’m Just Very, Very Tired

Normally I would start a post with some kind of dramatic story opening about what has been going on in my life, but honestly, my brain is too fried out to even try and come up with something. Besides, the entire world is more or less on the same playing field, in terms of global events happening. So many people said that 2020 was gonna be “the year.” I’ve never seen so many people who actually set goals for themselves and take all of the steps needed in order to reach them. Friends and family where taking big risks to not only push further in a career that they liked, but many were finally taking the big leap it take the chance at being happy doing what they like instead of being stuck at a dead-end 9-to-5.

And then the world decided to give a giant “fuck you” to everybody. From starting off the year with almost having another world war happen, forced to work during a global pandemic and seeing protests happen all over the world for #blacklivesmatter, I can safely and honestly say this:

2020 has been one fucked up roller-coaster of emotions, events, and movements of unparalleled proportions. Continue reading Don’t Worry, Luka isn’t dead

Pages: 1 2

January Note – 1/31/2010

The orange sun started its morning rise over the city skyline, blanketing every glass building in its radiant glow. Down below, on the concrete and cement pavement, cars and people buzzed up and down the streets, beginning the usual morning rush hour—car honks, obnoxious phone calls, and quickly-forming crowds made the normal scene. Civilization was continuing on as usual. At least, that was the way it looked on the surface to the public.

Luka knew about the public cover up about the virus. From the news reports about the origins, the quick global spread, and the announcement of a successful cure, it was presented like the world avoided another epidemic. People were lining up to get vaccinated and treated. Others happily gave up their lives in the name of science.

Luka was the result of a cure that came too late.

Leaning on the railing on the roof of a building, Luka lifted her sleeve and looked at her arm. Going the length of her entire arm was a thick blue vein, starting from her knuckle. After staring at it long enough, she was able to notice the subtle pulsing from it.

“I always knew the C-Virus would backfire on me…”

What’s the best way to enter in the new year? Most people would think that creating a list of resolutions and goals for the year would be a nice starting point. I mean, who wouldn’t want to set goals for themselves? Never would I have imagined that we’d start 2020 by potentially having another world war and a new viral epidemic.

Damn, that was a dark way to start… Oh well. Contiune reading January’s Monthly Note

Luka’s 2019 Year-End Round-Up

I honestly don’t know how to start this. At some point of this year, I wasn’t expecting to even have the website up by this time. Hell, I’m actually surprised that I’m even still writing, to be honest. This entire year felt like time was flying by when everything seemed to be going perfectly. And then time came to a sudden halt whenever something stopped me from progressing forward. I’ve had some of my biggest trials and tribulations in my entire life all in the span of twelve months. I’ve seen people blossom and bring forth newly found ambitions and dreams, and I’ve even seen people laying in a still slumber inside of a coffin. Many of the bonds and relationships I have only improved and deepened, and I had to learn to let go of those who weren’t going to help improve myself. I’ve learned when to stand up and become the voice people look to when things get tough, but I also learned when to stay quiet and let a person have to go through their own lessons. Continue reading Luka’s 2019 Year-End Round-Up

Pages: 1 2

November Note – 11/30/19

The phone already rang three times today, two of the calls happening within a span of twenty-five minutes. Each one was of the utmost importance, all of them possibly changing the route of Luka’s life. Regardless of whichever one she chose, they all would be nothing but beneficial.

And now, a fourth call was ringing right in front of her.

Luka had applied to so many internships and jobs that she couldn’t keep up with which company or person she was talking to. She had to quickly go through her list of job listings with every call just to make sure she remembered.

Her phone rang three times now. She had to answer to see what kind of offer she could possibly get. Tapping the green button on the bottom of her screen, she answered, “Hello?”

The eleventh month of the calendar has come to a close, leaving only December left…

I really thought about making a dramatic openings, but I gave up really quickly. How are you lovely people doing this month?

Continue reading the Monthly Note for November

Monthly Note – 9/30/2019

Luka reached into the back of the freezer and grabbed the frozen cold compress. Realizing that her current outfit—a slightly oversized t-shirt and a pair of blue and black-stripped pajama bottoms—has no pockets. Mumbling under her breath, she took a deep breath and placed the compress between her breasts, using them as temporary pockets.

“Christ,” she whispered, “my tits might turn into cubes by the time I get back to my room.”

Trying to ignore the cold string on her breasts, Luka reached behind her and grabbed her crutches, carefully placing each one under her arms. With a slight hobble from keeping her right leg off of the ground, she took her time heading back down the hallway towards her bedroom.

Goddamn, September has already came to an end. That means fall is about a week or so underway, the Halloween adverts are playing on repeat during commercial breaks and in weekly coupon booklets, and people are bragging about pumpkin-flavored foods. Now, I honestly was never a fan of fall-inspired drinks and foods; I don’t care for it. However, if I see that something has cinnamon in it, I may give it a shot.

That is, of course, I can survive the trip outside. I’ll go into detail about that in a bit, just keep on reading. Continue reading the Monthly Note for September

August Note – 8/31/2019

The room filled with the bright orange hue of the setting sun flashing through the window blinds. The calm breeze danced around, bringing the scent of freshly cut grass into the room. The wandering cat crossed into the sun’s light, its brown eyes shining straight at the only person in the room.

However, even with the tranquil scene in front, Luka continued to stare up at the ceiling, trying to focus on the train of thought constantly derailing.

With a heavy sigh, Luka shook her head, “Everything’s just been so crazy lately. It’s crazy how just one thing can turn everything else on its head.”

The cat let out a gentle cry, prancing towards Luka and jumping onto her lap. Luka’s eyes came down from the ceiling and focused on the cat.

“I’ll make the right move. I promise.” Continue reading this Monthly Note